


Adventures in Supermarket Aisles

by Gemini_Baby



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: (other characters are just mentioned in a loving way), Alfred Pennyworth-centric, Attempt at Humor, Banter, Damian Wayne-centric, Damian loves and cares, DamianLovesHisGrandpa2020, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Good Grandparent Alfred Pennyworth, Grocery Shopping, Humor, I am So Done with the current canon, No Angst, Shopping, These two have a beautiful relationship, YeetDC2020, and the ashes can get buried many feet under the ground., edited.... we still die like editorially mandated Damian's character development in canon, no editing we die like Damian's character development in canon, no slander against their nice relationship in this house, ok maybe some editing, the current canon can go and get lit up in fire, this is just a fluff fic, with some humor and banter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:11:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gemini_Baby/pseuds/Gemini_Baby
Summary: It was fun and very easy to banter with Damian, for Alfred. Who else would spend a lot of hours with him involved and very enthusiastic about the debate, the excess of “u”s in British English and the omission of them in American English? Who else would be a tea snob with Alfred? Or bring him the best and such pretty teacups that they would rival the beauty of Switzerland? Who else would enthusiastically tell the critical analysis and literary essays of Victorian literature while sitting on the kitchen counter and helping Alfred with the kitchen chores? Who else would be dramatic with him and match his humour tone with tone, blade to blade? Damian. That’s who. Bantering with Damian, for Alfred, was like a fine blade of the sword hitting and clanging with another fine sword. But it was never a fight. It was rather a dance. And they wore mirth in their eyes instead of the bloodthirst in their postures.OR: Damian and Alfred, a shopping trip, some reminiscing of the time they spent together in the past, some banter, some fluff and some attempts at humour
Relationships: Alfred Pennyworth & Damian Wayne
Comments: 6
Kudos: 92
Collections: Damian Loves His Grandpa Challenge 2020





	Adventures in Supermarket Aisles

**Author's Note:**

> For the DamianLovesHisGrandpaChallenge, (https://geminibabyhere.tumblr.com/post/626956564263272448/damian-loves-his-grandpa-challenge-2020) and (https://geminibabyhere.tumblr.com/post/624636260072423424/damian-loves-his-grandpa-challenge-2020)
> 
> They killed Alfred this day and made Damian being blamed for it, not to mention all the racist yucky stuff going on with Damian's character rn and his character development being shredded.
> 
> They killed Alfred today for being edgy for the sake of being edgy and batman angst.
> 
> We celebrate today with works featuring Alfred and Damian's relationship which is just so precious !!! and has mutual love and respect
> 
> Anyways,  
> Many thanks to the discord server, Batfamily 18+, gc members, tumblr users, and everyone who participated and created something for today and who read, kudoed, commented, bookmarked, shared the fics. 
> 
> Thank you Syngaly and CKBookish for helping with it 💙  
> Credit for the title goes to CKBookish as CK came up with it

It was Tuesday, nowhere near the weekend. Alfred was both hyped and stressed about the upcoming weekend. He had invited the whole family for dinner after all. Everyone of them had been busy and not much in contact, for some weeks, because of the workload. Alfred came up with an idea and phoned all the Wayne family members. He invited them all for a late dinner on Friday night followed by a sleepover. All of them had agreed. They would arrive late night on Friday, after wrapping up their work and leaving their cities. They had agreed to stay for the weekend and had decided that they would leave on Sunday evening to go back to their lives.

  
  


Alfred wanted to make at least one favourite dish of a family member each. But if he was being honest, even though Friday was not near, Alfred should get started now in his preparations if he wanted the event to succeed. He needed to clean the manor, set up the rooms, stock up some supplies and get started with some decisions.

A trip to the supermarket it is.

But again, today was tuesday. Master Bruce was at the office of Wayne Enterprises. The only ones in the manor were Alfred, himself, and Damian. Damian was at home because he was currently being homeschooled. Alfred didn’t feel satisfied in leaving Damian behind alone at the manor. He decided to go to the boy’s room and take him with him. This was already a very long shopping trip. Damian might get tired too. But Alfred knew the boy loved to help him, and maybe he also needed to buy some things for himself.

Damian usually shopped small items or trinkets with his pocket money whenever he and Stephanie would go on their weekly shopping trips, and sometimes actual shopping trips, on Thursdays. But Stephanie had been busy because of her exams this month. The uni and the uni work swallowing her like a swamp or quicksand. She had not left her home as a result. Damian might have run out of some of his personal stock too.

Alfred was busy thinking about it when Damian appeared in the kitchen where Alfred was. There was a package in Damian’s arms. Alfred questioned, “What is this, Master Damian?”

“I would love to say scrolls or letters from some princes but unfortunately, this is the completed homework bundle of a mere mortal.”

_ Completed? So soon? _

“Alright. Deposit it in the study room.”

“Then I shall take my leave, Pennyworth.”

“One more thing.”

“Yes?”

“Will you care to join for some chai?”

“Of course. That would be an honour”

“See you at the royal tea table then.”

“I shall return soon from this adventure.”

Damian gave a sage nod and left.

\------------------

They were sitting at the tea table. Papers, pens, many coupons spread on the table where the space was not occupied by the teacups. Alfred was very immersed in the task that he had forgotten for some minutes why they were sitting at the table. A “Pennyworth” cut his thoughts like a good pair of scissors cutting through a smooth cloth.

“Your tea might be getting cold.” Damian said while taking a sip of his chai.

Alfred gave a nod as an acknowledgement. “Thank you for reminding me”, he answered as he put the cup to his lips.

“You are welcome. Wouldn’t want you to taste sadness.”

Alfred hid his smile behind the rim of the cup.

\-----------------

Once he was done with his tea, which admittedly finished very soon, Alfred resumed the task of making a list. He had brought more items than before; more papers, pens, credit cards, debit cards, cash, scissors, coupons:  _ a lot of coupons. _

“What are we doing Pennyworth?’

“I am making a list to organize and remember what things we shall need. The coupons are to cut and see where we can be economic about the items while cash and cards are to grab and leave for the trip to the supermarket.” 

Now the question was how to ask Damian and tell him that he can’t be left behind, alone at the manor. Not because Damian couldn’t protect himself or would set the manor on fire or something. Alfred knew he could only trust two people when it came down to being left alone and not having it set on fire and remaining part brewing monsters of popcorn and releasing that thing from hell called confetti and glitter. The two people he trusted were Jason and Damian. But Alfred liked to think of himself as a responsible adult and he would also die because of a thousand different thoughts, each horrifying in nature, while shopping if he would leave Damian behind.

“Shall I assist you in endeavour?”

“That would be a pleasure.”

\-------------------------

Alfred finished putting the cash in the bag, 10 cards in the bag and then proceeded to put some cash in his coat pockets, shirt pockets, pant pockets. He repeated the procedure with the credit cards too.

Better to be over prepared than be underprepared.

_ Preparation was the key. _

Where did they all think Bruce learned it from? Some Sherlock Holmes novel?

\------------------------

  
  


“Is it okay if I want to buy some things for myself too?”

“Of course.”

Damian turned to go to his room and bring something. Alfred had a suspicion he knew what Damian was going to his room for.

“We have money, Master Damian. You need to go and fetch it.”

“I want to buy those things from my own pocket money.”

Bruce really had no idea what a reasonable or a normal amount for pocket money was. But then again, Alfred didn’t either. And he had been the one to raise Bruce after all.

Alfred shook his head trying to stop driving the lane of memories and being distracted from the task at the hand. The task being resisting the urge to sigh. But maybe Damian caught on it. “I also have to grab my mobile phone and ask Carrie if she would have some time for pet sitting.”

This time Alfred sighed.  _ He had forgotten about the pets. _

“What if Miss Kelley is busy?”

Damian’s eyes flickered for a second, maximum, and then they were sparkling. He had the solution. Alfred was both amazed and disturbed by the quick thinking. But he also knew that one did not live to grow up in the league if they couldn’t think quickly on their feet. Alfred was both proud at the boy’s skill and angry at everything that had been the reason behind it.  _ Next time he would encounter Ra’s, Alfred would shoot him with his shotgun. Yeet Bruce’s rule under the pile of the level of stress a university student has. _

Damian went to his room.

\-----------------------------

  
  


It turned out that they didn’t need to switch to plan B. Carrie happily accepted to pet sit. (They would pay her of course.)

“Shall we leave then, Damian?”

“Yes - wait.” Damian again made a run, but to the living room this time. He returned with a packet of his favourite biscuits - cookies in America- and opened and started eating them, while offering some to Alfred. Alfred accepted one.

“You can’t eat them at the market.”

“I can eat them on the way while we are driving right?” Damian asked but he was nervous. Alfred could sense that.

“You will clean up the crumbs from the seat and the car, wouldn’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then we have a deal.”

\-------------------------------

  
  
  


The drive was spent in a comfortable silence, something they both enjoyed in each other’s company. The most they talked about was how Damian’s acting lessons were going, to which Damian had answered that they were going good and there might be a play performance happening in a couple of weeks. Damian may or may not be participating in it. Alfred gave him his words of encouragement and support.

Damian asked him about his plans and Alfred told him about the plans he had for the weekend.

“Can I help you in the preparation of the food?”

“I think you already do enough help.”

“I can be the royal chef.”

“There is only one royal chef, Master Damian. That is me. I am not giving up my throne, yet.”

“Will there be desserts and sweet dishes?”

_ Was that a non-sequitur? _ Alfred was confused but replied, “Yes, there will be a lot of desserts and sweet dishes” anyway.

“If you are the royal chef - “

“If?”

“- can I be the dessert consultant?”

“I think you  _ are _ worthy of that position.”

‘Lovely.”

Alfred almost crashed their car to the next car. Almost. Close calls.

\-------------------------------------

They finally reached their destination.

\-------------------------------------

Damian and Alfred both had chosen a trolly or a cart each. Damian insisted on the word, ‘trolley’. Alfred emphasised on the word, ‘cart’. In the end, the one being dragged by Alfred was “Alfred’s cart” and the other one being dragged by Damian was “Damian’s trolly”. That was the result they had settled on. It was friendly banter and Alfred had really enjoyed it. The wise part of Alfred was telling him that he was being a troll. The father and grandfather part of him justified that trolling the loved ones in an unharmful way is actually fun.

It was fun and very easy to banter with Damian, for Alfred. Who else would spend a lot of hours with him involved and very enthusiastic about the debate, the excess of “u”s in British English and the omission of them in American English? Who else would be a tea snob with Alfred? Or bring him the best and such pretty teacups that they would rival the beauty of Switzerland? Who else would enthusiastically tell the critical analysis and literary essays of Victorian literature while sitting on the kitchen counter and helping Alfred with the kitchen chores? Who else would be dramatic with him and match his humour tone with tone, blade to blade? Damian. That’s who. Bantering with Damian, for Alfred, was like a fine blade of the sword hitting and clanging with another fine sword. But it was never a fight. It was rather a dance. And they wore mirth in their eyes instead of the bloodthirst in their postures.

  
  
  
  


The boy sometimes tested Alfred. He would sit on the kitchen counter. Alfred was not really opposed to it. Not after he had a scare in the past and thought that he had actually jumped like that Tom, the cat from the cartoon younger masters and mistress loved to watch. The image of the cat jumping in horror with all his hair, and tail, standing was in his mind. He had no doubt he might have been the exact picture at that time. Only if the tail of the butler coat could stand. He had been scared because somehow he had not noticed that Damian had entered the kitchen and was standing there. Alfred had been so lost in the work and other things while he pulled a jar from a cabinet when something had brushed his pant legs and Alfred, honest to God, had jumped. The offending object had been the mop of the kid’s hair. He was small. Very small. And Alfred couldn’t always keep track of if he was down there. It was perhaps for the best that none of the other family members had heard of this incident. Alfred and Damian both had been spies. Both a man of their honour…. Maybe not man, but human. Humans with codes.

“Pennyworth”, a hushed voice more like a whisper cut Alfred from thinking more about it. “It” being Alfred loving and  _ living _ for these events and moments with Damian.

“Yes, Damian?”, he asked, making himself appear regal, as if he had not been a wanderer mere moments before in the gardens and grassy fields of memories. 

Damian just looked at him with wide eyes. Sometimes these wide eyes were of a person who had seen too much, had grown up too soon, sometimes they were of a child filled with childish awe and hope. Sometimes they were of a soul, lost and confused. Alfred realized that right now, these eyes were of a child who had been confused where they should start their shopping trip from.

“Oh. I see. Let us start with the dairy section, shall we?”, Alfred answered the querying boy, only to remember a minute later that the dairy section was way far back. “Maybe let us start with the right side, instead and we will keep going from there, stopping at the relevant aisles and departments from where we need and want something while skipping and strolling through the irrelevant ones.”

“Sounds like a good plan”, Damian answered but of course he had to add, “skipping and strolling through the aisles sounds like walking in the meadows with a twirly dress.”

“Maybe it does, Master Damian. Maybe it does.”

“Are we doing that?”

Alfred looked down, “We are doing what?”

“Walking in the meadows while wearing a twirly dress.”

Alfred just raised an eyebrow, “Maybe so.”

“As Stephanie would say, ‘cool!’ "

“What do you mean, Master Damian?” Alfred asked.

“That I would love a twirly armour, of course. Does this place sell twirly armours? I would like one. Maybe two.” Damian answered genuinely.

And Alfred almost crashed the cart in the nearby shelf because  _ what the peppers and chillies _ . This cart thing really needed brakes. Alfred had just avoided the collision by an inch. 

\------------------------------------------

Alfred put packets of salt, grounded red peppers, turmeric, cinnamon and cardamom in his cart.

He turned to look at what Damian was doing. He noticed Damian had not been doing anything, just watching Alfred.

Then Damian turned and started picking the items he needed from the shelf.

Damian pulled a raspberry jam and a grape jelly jar and placed them carefully in his trolley. Alfred knew that Damian was not buying this for himself. Raspberry jam and grape jelly screamed  _ Master Richard _ . Alfred was still looking at Damian from the corner of his eyes. The boy pulled pouches of ketchup and chili garlic sauce.  _ Master Jason _ . Alfred's mind supplied. He wheeled his trolley a bit further. The items he grabbed and placed in the trolley were chocolate syrup and maple syrup.  _ Stephanie _ . The only things Alfred saw Damian pulling and putting in his trolley, which were actually for Damian, were black peppers, both the little ball shaped one and the powdered one. 

Ah, Black peppers. They are something Damian loves too much.  _ Alfred is jealous of them, yes. _

Damian would be sitting on the kitchen counter, helping him with his chores and the moment Alfred would turn his back on the boy, Damian would pick black peppers and throw them in his mouth.

  
  


The one time Alfred had tried to lecture, the boy had looked at him wide eyes and extended the pal, offering him the peppers.  _ He had thought Alfred was mad at him. For not sharing the peppers with him. _ (he had offered and shared with him before that time, every time he had. It wasn’t the sharing thing that Alfred was trying to say. Alfred had given up in the end. The boy was allowed to have some weird habits.)

\----------------------------------------

Alfred picked up different soaps and bottles of shampoos, stacking them up in their cart. He had to set the rooms up for all of them and that means also stacking the necessary things in their bathrooms. Alfred had to pick up a smaller size of the bars and bottles though. The one that would be used on the weekend and not get wasted later. The mini bars of soaps were small, something all the children would call “cute”.  _ Or as Master Jason would say, “Damian’s size”. _

  
  


Damian added four bars of soaps to his trolley. Alfred couldn't see which company's products they were. Lux, maybe. Alfred was getting old. His eyesight status reminded him of that. Two bars of the soap were the pink coloured soap; the ones with rose fragrance. The other two were honey flavoured or fragrance. (Flavour made it sound like they were for eating. In Alfred's defense, they do look like delicious candy bars when they are out of the packet.)

  
  


Damian added two shampoo bottles to his trolley too. Alfred has seen their use recently. One bottle Damian was buying was for washing his hair. Another bottle was to wash his paintbrushes and some cleaning hacks. Alfred had decided, a long time ago, to not question some things. That was best for his sanity.

\-----------------------------------

Damian pulled the bottle of a certain talcum powder from the shelf. That's the only one Dick wasn’t allergic to, but it was rare to succeed in finding the product. Many of them have given up on finding the powder. But Damian usually hunted it down. He loved to sneak into Richard's apartment, and put the bottle wrapped with a baby blue coloured bow and a drawing on a small card paper on his dressing table. Alfred knew because whenever Damian did that was when Master Richard was busy, no time for himself. That was Damian’s way of saying “I love you”, “please rest”, “give yourself five minutes”, “I am here for you”. And every time that would happen, Richard would call Alfred late in the night. He would talk to him and in the end would ask, “Hug Dami for me?” with a softness and an emotion, Alfred couldn't describe, only both of those two had reserved for each other.

\----------------------------------

The bottles Damian removed from the shell and added to his trolley were bottles of oils of different varieties; mustard oil, almond oil, olive oil, and coconut oil. Alfred was sure that his own eyebrows were comically raised because all the bottles were filled with a different thing. It didn't have a specific pattern. But he was also aware of the tradition of Richard and Damian oiling each other's hair and combing them, something both of their mothers used to do with them and they had carried on the family tradition. 

A beautiful tradition, starting between them, when everything else around them had been crumbling. The tradition for them was beautiful as a lotus while everything was being ugly, messed up and trying like the swamp.

\-----------------------------------

They were in the breakfast food area now. Alfred was picking and stacking the cereal boxes in his cart. He needed them because he had plans to make chicken broasts for dinner on Saturday.

Damian had found something, the glint in his eyes had told Alfred that. It was the box of the chocolate flavoured cereal; milo, very rarely found in the local supermarkets. Damian loved to “steal” Dick’s cereal. All of them knew the chocolate flavoured ones were actually on Master Ricard’s shelf because they were Damian’s favourite. Damian knew that too.

Damian never added milk in his cereal. No, the boy would just pick his box, take cereal out of it, throwing them directly into his mouth - the idea of existence of a bowl completely forgotten - and would just  _ munch on them _ . That had irked Alfred to no end.

He had one day given a big lecture about it too. The other day, he had tried, it had gone a completely different direction.

\------------------------------------------

“I don’t know Pennyworth. I still don’t see the difference between this place and the place for which some people love to claim ‘they saved me from’.”

“I am sure there are many differences.”

“Many similarities too.”

“I may have to differ on that. I think you are getting the wrong picture, Master Damian.”

“I don’t know Alfred. From one authoritarian grandfather figure to another. Doesn’t seem much different to me.”

“I am disappointed in the direction you are taking this.”

“See? Grandfather used to say the same thing.”

  
  


“Ra’s Al Ghul and I are very different, Damian.”

Damian had just tilted his head and spoke in the utmost seriousness of a child, “Yes, Grandfather has more hair.”

Although Alfred was going to reprimand at the remark, Master Richard who had been sitting on the breakfast table for the tea, with a gloomy expression before, had spluttered, choked on his tea and laughed. He was laughing, not stopping and Alfred had thought that Master Richard would fall from the chair and roll on the floor, still laughing. Alfred had been concerned about his situation, whether he was even feeling well.

Alfred was going to scold him because this was a questionable behaviour but that had been the first time Master Richard had laughed. And the thought of him laughing had made Alfred smile too.

\-----------------------------------

  
  


Alfred had done introspection and stopped being that much strict in some areas. But that didn’t mean he had softened too much.

\-----------------------------------

Damian had a perfume bottle in his hand which Damian hid just as Alfred turned towards him.  _ For his mother maybe. _

Damian picked another perfume bottle, spraying a little on his thumb to test. Alfred was near him and he could tell the fragrance was so refreshing. He actually loved it. That fragrance was something which would suit Stephanie.  _ Oh. It was supposed to be a gift. _

  
  


\-----------------------------------

The boxes of kheer mix, rabri mix and falooda mix were added by Damian to the cart and Alfred had to think what the boy was going to do. Was the boy missing his home than usual? Did one of the children have made an achievement recently and it needed a call for celebration?

“One would think you are throwing a party to a kingdom Master Damian.” 

“ _ Maybe so.” _

“What’s the joyous occasion?”

“Many.”

“Can I take a guess?”

“You can.”

“Did Mistress Stephanie pass her college exam?”

The boy just shrugged.

“So more than just passed the exams?”

“Mhmm.”

“Don’t kill this old man with suspense.”

“But you are not suspended. You are standing on the ground upright”, Damian answered; his voice was that of a confused child.

“Not that suspension.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

“Stephanie also won a prize on her essay in philosophy, and won the baking competition.”

“Those are quite the achievements.”

“Certainly.”

“Is Stephanie the only one to accomplish her achievements?”

“No. Bhai also -

“You did not continue.”

“It is not my place to tell.”

_ That sounds like Jason’s application for university got accepted. Jason would tell Alfred himself, he knows. _

“Are you celebrating something for yourself too, Damian? Some recent accomplishment”

“I don’t know.”

“Why not?”

“Because then I would feel the need to have to justify something as an accomplishment to earn the celebration. Richard says it’s okay to self-love and celebrate without trying to justify. That it is okay to do things we want to do rather than always feeling that we can only do them when we need to.”

“That's good advice.”

“I know.”

  
  
  


“Pennyworth?’

“Yes, Damian?”

“My submission for the poster competition won a prize.”

“Congratulations.” Alfred stepped forward and ruffled Damian’s hair, “ I am very proud of you.”

There was a slight pink tint giving away the embarrassment Damian was feeling. “Thank you Pennyworth.”

\--------------------------------------------------

From the movie and music section, Damian picked up some movies and some games. Alfred knew those were for the weekend; he could see they were of others’ preference, but then Damian picked some cartoon movies too and Alfred smiled.

Alfred was going to say something just when the speakers burst to life and announced about the arrival of a storm soon.

_ They had to leave. _

Granted, their shopping was nowhere near done, but there were still some days left. Alfred told himself and Damian that they could come the next day too. Or that they might go to another store the next day

“Will the other shop have a twirling armour?”

“I am afraid not, Damian.”

“Smushed breadsticks!”  _ Did Damian say ‘that sucks’? _

Damian and Alfred made a beeline to the counters, waiting for their turn. As soon as they could leave, they did and went to the car putting all the items in the car.

Alfred threw open the car doors and sat on the driving seat. Damian opened the door next to the driving seat one and sat next to Alfred.

They were in haste because the storm was approaching fast and the manor was far from the city. It wasn’t rain that they could enjoy. It was a storm that could cause havoc.

\---------------------------------------------

They had reached the manor in time. The storm started five minutes after they had settled in the manor with all the things they had bought and caught their breaths.

Now, it was afternoon, seeming as if it was a night. Alfred was on the couch. And Damian was curled up in a blanket, sitting on the other side of the couch. They both had a mug of hot chocolate in their hands and enjoyed each other’s company.

“Today was well spent Pennyworth.” Damian commented.

“It was. With a good companion.” Alfred agreed and saw Damian ducking his head and hiding himself behind the hot chocolate mug.

Alfred took a deep breath and smiled. He loved his grandson and every gesture from Damian told him that he loved Alfred too. Alfred had just found a beautiful sketch of his favourite cup, with floral patterns, on the coffee table. The back of the card paper had the calligraphy like writing, which read, “For Pennyworth, who means a lot to me.”

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos, comments, bookmarks are always welcome and appreciated ❤


End file.
